


Gods and Monsters

by orphan_account



Category: Durarara
Genre: Angst, Anorexia/Bulimia, Anxiety, Depression, Eventual Smut, Implied Attempted Suicide, M/M, Shizaya - Freeform, ah yes the good ol nursing the hurt puppy back to health trope, getting to know Izaya better, god syndrome, mentions of child abuse and sexual assault, more of hidden personality head cannons, ooc somewhat, slowburn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-09
Updated: 2018-05-09
Packaged: 2019-05-04 09:40:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,034
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14590218
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: “He’d never looked back. What if he’d killed him? He needed to know what happened, needed to know for sure - and he’d already convinced himself if the monster we’re going to die he’d want to watch, in any case.”Izaya is a wealth of issues, and he’s created some more for himself. What was he supposed to do? In any case, Shizuo is now hiding from a masked stalker in HIS house - the last place anyone would look for him. Now, Izaya needs to find out who this stalker is before Shizuo finds out all of his secrets... or is he hiding from another outcome entirely?New chapter every Sunday at 7pm MT!*-ON HIATUS UNTIL FURTHER NOTICE-





	Gods and Monsters

**Author's Note:**

> Warning! Bit of blood/death in this chapter.

It rained like cats and dogs on the streets of Ikebukuro, each raindrop hitting Izaya’s skin so hard they felt like claws. Even then, long after everyone else had gone to bed, he wandered the streets - searching.

He’d lost his umbrella hours before, captivated in the chase. As he took a right, he’d whipped it behind him and heard it connect with Shizuo’s face. Now, he was a prisoner in his own head, a victim to an awful feeling in the pit of his stomach that something was wrong. He’d never looked back. What if he’d killed him? He needed to know what happened, needed to know for sure - and he’d already convinced himself if the monster we’re going to die he’d want to watch, in any case.

With a loudness that startled him, his phone rang, so he took a break from his frantic one man search party to drive under a store overhang.

“Hello?” He raised his voice to drown out the sound of the rain pelting the tarp above him.

“Izaya? Where are you? Yagiri called - she seemed worried.” Izaya sighed, Shinra. Thank god - he was too worried to worry about work.

“Namie called?” He chuckled, dodging the question, “She probably wants to know if I’m dead. Poor girl, I hate getting her hopes up.”

Shinra saw right through him. “You’re not doing anything stupid, are you?” He asked hesitantly. Such a simple question to hold so much emotion.

“Probably,” he replied offhandedly - he _was_ literally looking for trouble. “Have you seen Shizuo?”

Shinra snorted, “You want to pick a fight this late at night? Be my guest,” he said, “And no, I haven’t.”

“It’s for a client,” he covered, trying to keep a grin in his voice, “but I had to ask.”

“Well I haven’t seen him,” he said finally. Shinra paused for a moment, “Don’t die, okay?” He begged.

Izaya hung up to avoid the subject, downright refusing to deal with the drama that surrounding that statement. Slipping his phone in his pocket, he started walking again. Unfortunately, he wouldn’t find Shizuo until morning.

Izaya shielded his sensitive, sleep deprived eyes from the sun as he spotted a crowd of humans surrounding something and filming it on their cellphones. At first, he thought nothing of it, but was overwhelmed with relief when he spotted the blond hair on the subject of the commotion. Excitedly, he jogged across the street.

“Oh Shizu-chan... Where have you been?” He taunted as he pushed through the crowd, hoping to get things back to normal.

On the sidewalk Shizuo laid in a pool of his own blood, draining colour as he clutched the stab wound a few inches above his hip. Cold and pale, he melted into relief when he saw Izaya. “Hey flea,” he whispered.

Just like that, Izaya jumped into muscle memory. Shizuo was dying, and Izaya was faced with his humanity.

It was awful.

He ran towards Shizuo and dropped to his knees, using one hand to pull off his coat and the other to call 119.

“119, what is your emergency?” Asked the lady on the other end of the phone.

Izaya could say nothing. He sobbed into the phone, trying and failing to stop the bleeding with his coat - Shizuo crying out when he applied pressure to the wound.

“Sir? Are you okay?” The lady prompted calmly.

Any bit of wit Izaya had within him was gone. “Main ST, 123 Ave. Please hurry... My friend is dying.” Izaya sobbed, and in his daze, Shizuo looked at him inquisitively.

“Paramedics are on their way. Is he breathing?” She said calmly.

“For now!” Izaya yelled, impatient as he wedged the phone in between his ear and shoulder in an effort to apply pressure with both hands.

“What happened?” The lady asked.

“He’s been stabbed!” He yelled, panicking. Did he do this? With an umbrella? No... But what if? “Listen.. He’s... He’s loosing a lot of blood, lady,” He stuttered, no time knowing what to do.

It was true, he was baptized in it now. On his hands, up to his elbows, his shirt, his face, his hair, his legs... So much blood.

That’s when Izaya noticed something.

“Oh my god... he’s unconscious!” He screamed.

“Can you check for a heartbeat for me, honey?” The lady said with urgency.  
He pressed his ear to Shizuo’s chest, and was met with emptiness. In an instant, he was shattered. Broken, like fine china. Dead? No... he was the dead one. Cold and empty and lonely all at once.

“He’s dead!” He whispered, reeling. “Oh my god, he’s dead!” He yelled, sobbing the words over and over. He’d seen death before - but never like this.

The lady quieted him. “The ambulance is on it’s way. Almost there,” She reassured. “I need you to do CPR, okay?”

He nodded as if she could see him, still in shock. He let the phone fall onto the sidewalk, and as soon as it made impact everything else disappeared. It was just him, and Shizuo.

For the slowest three minutes of his life, Izaya was the only thing keeping Shizuo from death. For three minutes, Izaya poured everything he had into keeping Shizuo’s heart going. He was his heart and lungs. Izaya pumped Shizuo’s chest until his muscles tore and beyond, blew air into Shizuo’s lungs until he felt his own may give out, and he listened to the emptiness of Shizuo’s chest until he thought he may die of terror.

He went until he was torn off - and at first he didn’t know why. It wasn’t until the outside world came back to him and he saw a flash of a paramedics uniform that he stopped kicking and screaming

So there Izaya stood, a shock blanket draped around his shoulders and the sound of Shizuo’s empty chest ringing in his ears, the feel of his cold lips on Izaya’s, the warm blood soaking through his coat and onto his hands. He couldn’t move as he watched the paramedics load his rival’s corpse onto the back of the ambulance on a stretcher, as he watched it drive away.

Izaya stared at his blood stained hands all the way home.

**Author's Note:**

> That’s it! Well, until Sunday. Expect chapters Sundays at 7pm MT every week unless otherwise stated!
> 
> Yay, I’m pantsing! That means if you have any suggestions you’d like to share there may be a chance they’ll make it into the story. First fic, so Kudos and comments are extremely appreciated!
> 
> PS... I’m looking for beta readers - DM me at @edenlikestowrite on instagram if you’re interested!


End file.
